November 19, 2015

A Rough Day

Today was a day I wanted to throw in the towel. We had three, THREE wasps in our home. The first one I found right after scooping J off the floor. It was sitting there, not moving, but very much alive. We had wasps last, or two, appearing in the family room. I was at a loss; I have no idea how they are coming in. Trying to get a wasp with two kids in the house= no bueno. Our pest company came by to take a look, but there was no nest on our property, and there isn't much to do but spray around the house. Apparently this is common for this time of year...but we've never had this problem before! I'm over it. I had to lock up both kids in their rooms when the second wasp was buzzing around our kitchen. It would not STOP and I was getting so nervous with them downstairs with me. Then, a third one appeared, and I thought I might lose it. You might find me in a corner with bug spray, rocking back and forth...

I'm not a bug person, I really don't like them. But wasps...wasps...that's a different story. In my house. With two kids?! Just no. The cold weather needs to settle in and get rid of them all. Before the wasp fiasco, our day started off so well. Both kids slept till almost seven and breakfast went smoothly. J is in a weird phase with food right now. He doesn't want purees, but he doesn't always eat finger foods. Last night I gave him steamed peas and he enjoyed them for a while and then started to play, marveling at how he could scoop them off his tray and land them in his lap. This morning he took a few bites of yogurt and ate some banana, a success. I don't know if he's becoming a picky eater or if he's teething (still no signs of teeth here!) but it is frustrating sometimes trying to get him to eat. Days like today make it really hard to enjoy the kids. I'm trying really hard to be present, more in the moment, with them both. I know I pay more attention to J- he needs to be fed, changed, carried, and I forget that Miss A still needs me too. She's so independent, which is great and a huge help, yet I feel guilty when we're sitting at the table and I've barely spoken a word to her because all my attention is on J. She has started to say, "look at me" when she's talking to me or asking a question. That makes me feel like I don't pay enough attention to her...that I don't see her. I'm vowing to put down my phone, or make J wait, to leave behind the dishes and take a moment. To really look at her. She's growing so fast. Her beautiful big eyes are always watching me inquisitively. She asks so many questions, all the time. I love it, yet I know I need to actually answer her, teach her.

With Christmas coming up soon we had a talk about giving away some of her toys. I explained that there are many children who do not have many toys, or any toys at all. We went through her toys together and she set aside some to donate. When my husband heard about it, she was so excited to tell him, "I'm going to make other kids happy!" I want her to be giving. I want her to be appreciative of what she has. She is one blessed little girl with grandparents who love and adore her and spoil her. I know that's hard to teach at such a young age, but I'm a firm believer that you can start teaching anything, at any time. Children understand more than we think they do.

We were driving home today after seeing a friend, it was late, the sun was starting to set. Miss A looked out the window and said, "Look Mommy, there was an orange explosion!" The sky was a multitude of colors; red, orange, and purple. So beautiful. She was amazed. Moments like that remind me to take a breather even when it's been a stressful day. I don't want to forget how she sees the world right now, so innocent and pure.

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